Relapse City

So a couple nights ago I hung out with this really hot guy I met on Grindr at his house in the ghetto in Eastman. I brought the rest of the weed I had from California and shared it with him and his mom. They enjoyed it. Then he asked me if it was okay if he smoked some dope, and I said yes. I told him I just got out of rehab, and he said he didn't want to enable me. But I took a couple rolls of the bowl anyway. Then he took a shower, came back to the room and asked me if it would be okay if he took off his towel. He had an absolutely amazing body. He wanted to suck my dick, but I wouldn't let him. Instead I gave him a massage and a hand job until he started to fall asleep (how that is possible on meth, I do not know). I left at about three a.m. because I couldn't sleep and didn't have my anti-psychotic. No more meth for me.

Since I've been out of my weed, my anxiety and boredom levels have been through the roof. I've inquired about it, but it's still pretty persistent. Earlier today I bought a Red Line and chugged it, which I soon regretted. I felt like jumping out of my skin. So I took a ride to my former drug dealer's house and bought two roxies for $60. I waited in the trailer with his wife and watched Ellen. She offered me yogurt and told me about how she's getting her two remaining teeth pulled soon and getting dentures. Colleen claims that they think it's God's will to get white people hooked on drugs and take their money, but I don't really care. They've always been super nice to me. I just think she's bitter because they won't give her anything anymore since she owes them hundreds of dollars.

At least I have something to get me through until I go to Miami on Thursday. I gave myself a $100 budget for drugs, so no more pills for me. I'm going to get a sack of weed when I get back. I seriously need to get my own place so I can feel comfortable making music again. I'm also considering picking up a new hobby--maybe painting. Tomorrow I'll find out of Andrew is going to jail or not. If he's not, hopefully he will find a place for us back in the desert. That would probably be best for me.

I feel really good right now, even if it's artificially induced. I wish I had some company, though.