9:34

So Kim just told me that I should do what I need to do--that we only have one life. As cliche as that sounds, and as awkward it was to receive that as a voice message over Facebook (she's obviously drunk), I think she's probably right. Unfortunately I have no idea what I need or want to do.

I'm still a little hungover from the night before last. I went to go see Lucy's kid's tiny house, and she ended up dragging me to a party where I got shitfaced and this guy Michael traded his girlfriend for me for the night. I had a crush on him 10 years ago when he was straight, but now he's fat and balding. But I'm getting there, too, so I can't be picky. I felt really dirty the next morning though when I woke up butt ass naked in his bed slightly confused. I couldn't find my underwear anywhere.

It's my mom's birthday today--my dad took her out for steak. I'm sitting here by my lonesome, a little stoned, and wishing my best friend weren't strung out on meth so she could hang out with me. I got on Grindr, but no one looks very interesting. I don't want to hookup at all--I feel the opposite of horny right now--but I wouldn't mind some coffee and conversation. I really miss the back porch of the Kiloby house. I miss a lot of different back porches, actually.

I'm thinking about visiting Kim and Tim in Jacksonville. Maybe Kat and Fern can pick me up on their way to Miami. I'm just getting really claustrophobic here.

I miss my cat.

On a side note, this kid Matt Little apparently died yesterday. He used to come to the farm with Ricky Lester. Nice guy. I wonder how he died.