Some People Have Real Problems

I adore Sia. I haven't listened to this album before, though. I was thrilled when she finally made it to mainstream. Her song that played during the finale of Six Feet Under was phenomenal. She actually performed when I was working at Coachella... last year? Or maybe the year before. I don't know. I am temporally inept. I could barely even see her, though. I was in the artists' viewing area, but it was still ridiculously packed. I could only see that actor dude tied to a chair or something. I dig her art. OH, speaking of which, I went to a lawyer the other day about my DUI, and he told me that Shia LaBeouf got busted in Savannah recently and there was all this drama because he was being racist or something. The cops in Savannah can be dicks, though. I miss Savannah.

I really want some oysters, even though they're not kosher. Allegedly I was conceived in Savannah after my dad had oysters.

Wow, my life there was so simple and so awesome. I loved working at Hollywood Video, and I had some really great friends there. Kate's mainly the only one I still talk to (although she's back in PA now). Actually the night I got my DUI I was at karaoke at Buffington's and someone sang Are You Gonna be my Girl. We used to jam out to that song at Beth's house back in 2004. So many good times there. I drunk messaged her for the first time in probably over a decade. Nostalgia is cool. I think I have some old blog entries about Savannah on my other journal.

I ended up running away because of Republican Paul. I almost always run away because of a guy. I was just in the shower listening to Miranda Lambert's "Running Just in Case" because Colleen played it for me a couple months ago, and it totally struck a chord. Oh yeah, I'm supposed to be asleep right now, but I was worried that I wouldn't wake up in time for my appointment. So yeah.

Opey just posted a meme that said,"Ben was always embarrassed when the more advanced lifeforms would catch him doing something primitive like having a job." I'm going to use that as my excuse from now on.

I want to get a job, but first I need to fix my brain. Actually the last thing Randall said to me before he was murdered was that he loved me but I needed to get a fucking job. I unfriended him because I'm dramatic like that. A month later, he was gone. I was at Kate's in Pennsylvania when Alex told me. I freaked the fuck out, obviously.

I went down to Tampa a month or so ago and saw Alex and Phillip. They used to own the gay club in Macon that I frequented since I was in high school. Randall was the bartender there. Opey actually just told me that he's in Tampa, which is a weird synchronicity. They don't know each other, though.

That's Randall and I dressed terribly (although fashionable for the time) and dancing at the club on New Years Eve 2001, I think.

You know, I just realized that since my online journals only go back to 2001, I probably haven't really written about my life before then very much. Well, there are even entire years since then I haven't written about and a plethora of amazing people who have been a huge part of my life at other points in spacetime.

But back to Randall.

He transferred to Bleckley County in 5th grade and was in my class. Apparently I called him a queer in a pathetic attempt at projection. I'm surprised I did that, though, since I was super shy and quiet when I was a kid. The only comments I got on my report cards were that I should talk more in class. Actually, I take that back. My best friend Jacob stopped hanging out with me around that time because people started calling me a queer, I think, so it makes sense. In elementary school I always had a "girlfriend". My mom bought a pink ice ring for me to give Amanda Smith--the most popular girl in school--but Timothy and I used to fight over her. Jenni (Jacob's cousin) and I actually started an "I hate Timothy" club. That is so terrible. Tim is a nice guy, though. I think I secretly had a crush on him back then, actually.

Anyway, it wasn't until 8th grade Georgia History class when Randall and I finally bonded over an Alanis Morisette cassette tape and a Ouija board that the teacher confiscated. Angel was in our little delinquent group, too, I think. That was the year I stopped being a straight A student and became a little rebellious, mainly due to the fact that I had missed several months of 7th grade because I almost died from mycoplasma pneumonia (which, incidentally, was one of the pathogens I e-mailed Obama about when I was being delusional). I also found out a couple years ago that they had to put me on suboxone when I was in the hospital because I had become hooked on morphine. Maybe that's when the drug addiction started. I also had a plasma transfusion, which played into my religious delusions, especially since Jehovah Witnesses forbid it. I was in the hospital for a long time and then spent maybe a couple months doing Hospital Homebound. Tara was my tutor. I miss her. She's one of the few people from school who doesn't have a Facebook, apparently. Good for her. Everyone made cards for me that year. It was really nice. I still have them somewhere.

Actually, 8th grade was also the first time I ever had an altercation with the law. Our gifted class took a trip to Washington, D.C. and stopped to eat at some mall in Virginia, I think. Amanda Newman and I went to a pharmacy next door, and for some reason she thought it would be cool to steal a lighter. I wanted to be cool, too, so I followed her lead, but then chickened out at the last minute, but not before I was caught. They took us to the back room, and I thought they were going to take us to jail. It was horrible. I was so embarrassed. I told my parents I was actually trying to cover for Amanda by attempting to put the package back or something. I think this might be the first time I've ever told the truth about what happened. She ended up breaking her foot or something at some historical site with marble steps--I can't remember. That was a long ass time ago. I do remember that Saxby Chambliss (or maybe Newt Gingrich?) stood us up, which was lame. Amanda is another one who doesn't have a Facebook, as far as I know. I hope she's doing okay.

I wish I could remember what year it was that I had my huge birthday party. It was sometime in Middle School. I remember Amanda and Cal made out in my tree house, and I was so jealous because I had a huge crush on Cal. I think my pony Peanut ended up stepping on Amanda's foot or something... maybe it was someone else, though. But yeah, Cal. His dad owned the funeral home, and my dad owned the monument company, so they were associates, I guess. He never really had anything to do with me until he sat behind me in drama class in high school. I finally got to talk to him, and I was so excited. But one day, Colleen, Randall, Lilly, and I were at the Huddle House, as usual, and Cal came in. I played Allison Krauss's "When You Say Nothing at All" (#127 on the Jukebox) like I did every day. Okay, so maybe it was directed at Cal, but I really did play it pretty much every day anyway. Of course, the whole school ended up finding out that I played it for him, and I haven't spoken to him since. Randall had a crush on him, too.

Oh, and I was supposed to play Prince Charming in the one-act play that year, but I got mono at the last minute, and they wouldn't let me go on. Cal ended up filling in for me. I still remember the lyrics to my song, though: "The woman I love is no longer a dream sent from up above. I know it's too late to be switchin, but my wife spends her time in the kitchen.... Ohhhh, can't take the cinder out of Cinderalla, Cinderalla, Cinderalla. Gosh, oh, gee, I'd be a happy fella, if I could get through. I shot for the moon, thought I married the best, but I'm back down to earth and so depressed." Ha. I think Ashley played Cinderalla, actually. I know she played one of the princesses. I really need to call her. I went to see her the other day, but she was in a shittie mood, and I was in a crazy mood, so I left abruptly.

Well, I was going to just write about Randall, but now all of these other old memories have come flooding back. But I am absolutely exhausted right now and am going to have to break down and take a nap. I seriously hope I wake up in time for my appointment.

Actually, I just realized it's Tuesday and not Wednesday, so I took three Benadryl and am hoping I will pass the fuck out. I'm feeling extremely delirious. And I'm going to make this private again because I was just being manic and crazy earlier.