Nevermind

This is my third entry for today.

I am currently listening to Nirvana's Nevermind album because it's appropriate in so many ways. It's weird how everything is so connected.

Also, it's probably about time that I mention how I had a bump of meth last night. Yes, I did the very drug that basically killed one of the few remaining people who actually wanted to hang out with me.

It wasn't my intention, though.

I was supposed to be meeting some Grindr guy for sushi downtown, and I had to stop and get gas. An old friend of mine was there with this other guy, and they needed a ride to the south side. Oh, I'm in Milledgeville, btw. I don't know if I've mentioned that already. Anyway, the other guy was super cool and actually drug-free other than prescribed Zoloft and Risperdol. I had a really heartfelt conversation with him as my friend went to get some weed and a little meth. I was just going to smoke some weed, but my lack of self-control and stupidity kicked in, so I had a tiny little bump. My tolerance for stimulants is extremely low, so I still feel pretty geeked up. I feel like someone beat the shit out of me, too. Oh, and I got super paranoid at one point and had to get Kate to call me and pretend to be my roommate so I could escape. Then I ended up driving 30 miles in the wrong direction and almost ran out of gas. There's way more to the story, but I don't even want to think about it right now, let alone type about it.

Blah blah blah blah blah.

This is such a stupid album.

I used to like it, but now it's connected to less desirable thoughts in my brain.

My Aunt Betty Jean replied to my Facebook message. She said she would love to have me come visit, and she gave me her phone number. I'll have to wait til I get my weekly allowance and am not so cracked out.

If I still worked at the base I could get one of the nurses to hook me up to a saline drip. That always cured alcohol hangovers, so I'm sure it would work for this, too. I miss those days. MY HEAD HURTS SO BAD. But I deserve it.

I'll have my prescription Wednesday, and I'm going to give them to Amy so she can hide them from me. As long as I have my medicine, I am content lying in bed and watching Netflix instead of running amok. I don't know what I'm going to do when I run out of things to watch, though. I feel like that day is coming very soon. I wish I could do something to positively affect the world instead of be such a parasite.