i hate meth

i'm exhausted. i can't sleep. i feel like i'm going to jump out of my skin (probably due to opiate withdrawal, as well). i can't find comfort in anything. i really want some heroin. but i'm too poor, and i don't have connects anymore.

i want to be floating in a pool where no one can see me.

i miss rehab.

i miss the pool. and my tent by the pool. i doubt i could go back, since i already owe them a shitload of money. plus insurance to go there is like $400/month. they don't take medicare.

i miss california. the desert. it's pretty healing.

i hate meth.

why do i always do this to myself?

i have a headache. i wish i could grow poppies in my back yard. my life would be complete.

i have nothing more to say.