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I've
had a very, very strange life. I've moved all around the country for
the past 20 years. I've had great jobs in the Air Force, CDC, several
start-ups. In 2011, though, things started getting strange. I'm not
sure if everything or anything that happened fits into this possible
puzzle I'm trying to solve, but if you're interested, I'll tell you.
What
I'm really trying to figure out is what has happened since around my
33rd birthday (April 20, 2015), the day I was hospitalized for having
really intense visions and being terrified. Unfortunately, some of
the visions came true.
One
was that "they" (whoever they are) were trying to build
some sort of Zion in my hometown (Cochran, GA). I thought it had
something to do with Bill Gates, who was the employee of my childhood
doctor, Ed Roberts, who invented the personal computer--also,
according to his step-son, a friend of mine, he worked at Area 51.
And another friend of mine said he told her he was working on
something "bigger than the internet" before he died. I also
had a vision that it had something to do with the freemasons. Both
sides of my family were into it, and my grandma was the Worthy Matron
of the Order of the Eastern Star. I found an old pitcher and basin
that belonged to her (I think I recall someone telling me they got it
on a trip to California--possibly for something masonic, idk), and
stamped on the bottom is "Calif 666". I also had a vision
that I was somehow quantumly connected to a giant diamond.
A
year later, my mom's cousin told me that her son was working on
thousands of acres of land here that Bill Gates and some other
billionaire bought here to be their "bug out spot". Then,
in 2016, I was over at a friend's house (she just moved back to
town--when I was a teenager she gave me a tattoo of a flame on my
stomach. She also asked me if I wanted to help this musician with a
song called "God damn love" (I'm a songwriter), and when I
said I didn't know if I was comfortable with that, she said that I
would one day or something). Anyway, I was over there one day, and
this guy was ther who called himself "Trinity". He had a
masonic ring on, and he pulled out his tablet pc, and it had the
Order of the Eastern Star logo on it (upside down pentagram with
"fatal" written around it). I told him my grandma was the
Worthy Matron, and he took me to a back room. He told me I was a
star, and that there were other stars in Warner Robins. He said my
parents must have paid a high price for me. He pulled out a dollar
bill and pointed to the all-seeing eye. He said something about
"Heaven, Hell, Earth; Father, Son, Holy Ghost". I asked him
if he could tell me more, and he said no, that he'd have to show me.
But it freaked me out. Then he gave me a skeleton key with a diamond
star attached to it. My mom took it from me. I told my aunt about it,
whose husband is a mason, and a while later, she said the masons got
a newsletter saying to disregard any rumors about a skeleton key.
I
started getting this amazing resonance feeling in my body (it's hard
to explain, but I never felt it before) that resonated with certain
things I heard or thought. The first time I remember getting it was
when I reading the Bible. I got the resonance feeling that I was the
reincarnation of King David. I also got it that my next door
neighbor's son was Jonathan, I think. He was straight, but one night
I was thinking about him and getting the resonance feeling, and the
next day he told me that at the same time he had a vision of me
giving him a blowjob.
I
got the resonance feeling about several things, including that Jesus
died because he loved people and he was trying to spread Kaballah. In
the Bible, John said that the "Spirit of Truth" would come
to you and only speak what it heard, which sounded like what was
happening to me. Also it says that you can test a spirit to see if
it's from God if it says that Jesus came in the flesh, which it did.
But the resonance identified itself as the Shekinah, Sakina, Shakti,
and serpent in the Garden of Eden. Once I was listening to a yogi
joking about how many Hindu gods they were. He said they stopped at 3
million because they lost creativity. For some reason whales popped
in my head, and I got the resonance feeling. When I googled how many
whales there were, it said that there were 3 million whales before
1900 (it doesn't give you that automatic answer now, though). Also
once I was in a psych ward, and the word "brahmin" popped
in my head, and I got the resonance feeling that this doctor was one.
I asked him, and he looked really surprise and nervous and nodded his
head "yes" rapidly, but he told me we needed to concentrate
on me.
I
also got the resonance feeing that Tori Amos was somehow talking
about me in the song "Hey Jupiter" (Hey Jupiter, nothing's
been the same, so are you gay, are you blue, thought we both could
use a friend to run to). I'm gay and blue. My AOL screenname was
theboyisblue, and this old black man who hangs out at the gas station
and doesn't seem to age told me I play the "blue note".
Incidentally, the other day I saw him there, and I was suffering so
much, and he asked about my best friend, and I told him he was
murdered. I was talking about how I was ready to leave this world,
and he said "it's just like one, two, three". Well, Tori
has another song with the lyrics, "the camera is rolling, it's
easy, like one, two, three", which I had associated with death.
Tori also has other songs that refer to my dad's name (Bobby), in a
way that seems like him, "Mrs. C" (my mom's name is Connie,
in a way that seems like her, and "Bill and Ben". She also
came out with a song recently called "Benjamin", which
sounds like it's describing me in very specific ways, and she says
"tell me where, tell me when, I'll meet you", and that she
was in my (?) army. I got the resonance feeling htat she was Lilith,
also. She's best friends with Neil Gaiman, who wrote American Gods. I
had a friend who was friends with Neil. I tried to write Tori and
Neil, but I never got a response. Oh, and about Jupiter, I found out
afterwards that Isaac Asimov hypothisized that the core of Jupiter
was a giant diamond. And Jupiter is called the "King David"
planet in Judaism. They think that when something happens to Jupiter,
it happens to Israel. Well, I almost died from mycoplasma pneumonia
when it was impacted back in the 90s. Also, the number of my name in
Hebrew is 541, which is the same as "Israel" and is a Star
of David number.
Regarding
numerology, I found that if you perform the equation (number of
letters * product of letters)/(number of words * product of words) on
the Hebrew of Genesis 1:1 (In the beginning..), you get pi to 5
accurate digits. If you perform the same equation on the Greek of
John 1:1 (In the beginning)..) you get e to 5 accurate digits
(euler's number--the other mathematical constant of the universe). If
you concactenate and square the sums, you get alpha, the fine
structure constant in physics. Interestingly, Carl Jung, the
psychologist, was into Kaballah and somehow hypothesized alpha.
When
I looked up the number of my dad's name in e, I found that the
preceding digits of its position (399) are 31014, the zip code of my
hometown. The preceding digits of my number is the zip code of San
Jose, the capital of Silicon Valley (I always worked in IT--I don't
know if it's a sign that I should get a job there or what).
Anyway,
on August 14, 2016 I was visiting the same friend, and when I got
home (my mom said I'd only been home for a few minutes), I laid down
in bed. I closed my eyes (I wasn't tired), and I felt like I saw the
end of the world. I don't remember what I saw, I was just left with
the feeling. When I opened my eyes, hovering above the end of my bed
were two metallic looking rings perpendicular to each other,
intertwined kind of. I was in shock--couldn't scream or anything. I
had never seen anything like this in my life (never had a visual
hallucination other than once I saw an orb of light). The next day,
the first recommended video of YouTube was about the NWO. In it there
was an old etching of Ezekiel's vision of the wheel within the wheel,
which looked like what I saw. I googled the date to see if anything
interesting had happened, and apparently someone put a cube on the
Georgia Guidestones the year before that had the numbers 8 14 20 16.
Oh
yeah, so once I was in a hotel room and begging God to give me a sign
or something because I felt so bad and so alone. The phone
immediately rang, and when I asked who it was, they said "God".
It was my friend Franco, though. So for a bit I thought Franco might
actually be God somehow, which I was fine with. Anyway, shortly
after, I was very emotionally reading the Psalms, and I had my first
and only "auditory hallucination" out of nowhere. It was
like my eardrums were actually vibrating like someone was there
talking. It was Franco's voice, and it said in a very silly faggy
kind of way, "Ohhhh you just sold your soul to the devil."
Oh,
and this guy from Saudi Arabia randomly messaged me on Facebook and
sent a picture of a friend of mine in Berlin who used to live here
and said "This is your mother, she is very nice". I told
her about it on Facebook (in a joking way), and she immediately
called me and told me I should come to Berlin (but she didn't mention
her being my mom). I'm pretty sure my mom is my real mom, though, but
that's still fucking weird. Oh, also my mom's maiden name is Young,
which is weird because of the whole virgin birth thing, since the
actual word was "alma", which means young woman. Can all
this be a coincidence? What the fuck is going on? Am I just insane? I
don't really know if I feel like taking part in some cosmological
drama. Should I just try to ignore it and move on? I also experience
synchronicites all the time--like other peoples' conversations will
answer my thoughts without them knowing. And I've had several that I
should quit smoking, but I still haven't. Oh, and during the eclipse
I was invited to this pagan sanctuary, and a LOT of weird fukcing
shit happened then related to that and other stuff, but I'm tired of
typing. If you want to know more, just ask.
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