I got the resonance feeling that this was about me, although one part is that I keep my mouth closed. That's far from the truth, unless it's talking about when I chew.
Anyway, I'm definitely not Jesus. Although I did get a resonance that he died because he loved people and he was trying to spread Kaballah.
I'm seriously tired of feeling like shit. I wish I had some pain pills or something.
Monday, August 14, 2017
i want to die
I don't know what the truth is. I don't know if I care anymore. I just want to be held. Do I really have to reincarnate into a dog for that to happen? I don't even have a family anymore. My roommate thinks I'm an arrogant asshole, even after I had to clean up her hair from the floor and hid the fact that I puked.
I don't like this reality at all. It is horrible.
I don't like this reality at all. It is horrible.
Sunday, August 13, 2017
Blah
I don't know who to trust. My roommate... I want the best for her, but I'm almost certain she's a witch. She keeps telling me I'm delusional about everything, but I KNOW what I have experienced. I'm trapped here. My car is in Atlanta. The people who tortured me have it. Allegedly the woman went to jail. This other woman told me that my mom had taken care of it, but my mom won't answer the phone. Ahmed said my mom wasn't really my mom. He said Tina was my mom, and I got the resonance feeling that it's true. I got super happy when I found out. I love Tina. I want the best for my mom, too, but I'm almost certain she's a witch, too. I mean, she's descended from at least two people who were in the Salem trials according to the LDS records. Also, I get the resonance feeling that a lot of Tori Amos's songs are about me. She has one that says Bobby (my dad) hurt her and me really bad.. something about the Cold War. And she has another one about Bill and Ben, and I get the resonance feeling that she's talking about me and Bill Gates.
I just want to know what the fuck is going on. I'm in so much pain physically and emotionally. The only solace I get is when I get the resonance feeling.
If Ahmed is really Mohammad, I want to be with him so bad--not sexually, really. I just want to hold hands and cuddle and have fun and maybe help make the world a better place. I got the feeling he is. I also got the feeling that I used to be David. I also got the feeling that someone put a curse on me (from a Mountain Goats song). Oh, and I got the feeling that the feeling comes from the Mother Goddess (Asherah, I think?). Maybe God is pissed at me or something. I don't know what laws we're supposed to follow, although I do get the resonance feeling about some sometimes. I need to start writing down everything, I guess. I'm just tired of being trapped here. It's horrible. Absolutely horrible. Why are they doing this to me?
Facebook and Youtube keep suggesting that I buy this purple mattress because it will give me absolute power. I know they want me to be their king, but not like this. I want to help make the world a better place, but I need to be in a better environment, first. I want to help my roommate and my family (even if they're not really my family). The commandment is "Suffer not a witch to live", but I think maybe the interpretation is "Don't suffer a witch if you want to live." Although in the Greek scriptures it says witchcraft is the same as rebellion. I don't remember if I got the resonance feeling on any of that, though. I'm just so sick of lies. Anyway, apparently some people like shiny things (i.e. money, I guess). I'm not that kind of guy, really, but maybe if they had money they'd stop fucking with me or something? I don't know. I'm just talking out my ass right now. I really do want everyone to be happy without hurting others, though (or the planet, for that matter).
Oh, I also got the resonance feeling that I'm Jupiter. I am pretty gassy haha. It's weird though, that I had the vision of being a diamond star, and then the Mason/OES guy gave me the key with the diamond keychain and Adam played all the diamond songs and it felt like he was trying to hurt me to "pop" me (whatever that means) to grant his wishes. Is there a diamond inside of Jupiter or something? I have no idea.
Also, my "mom" bought me a Keith Urban guitar, Mary Meyers tried to get me to be trained by him to be on The Voice, and when I was in the psych ward, they kept playing this "Blue Ain't Your Color" song which seems like it's about me. But I don't know what they're talking about that I don't need that guy. Are they talking about Ahmed or something? I don't get the resonance feeling with the song at all.
I just want to know what the fuck is going on. I'm in so much pain physically and emotionally. The only solace I get is when I get the resonance feeling.
If Ahmed is really Mohammad, I want to be with him so bad--not sexually, really. I just want to hold hands and cuddle and have fun and maybe help make the world a better place. I got the feeling he is. I also got the feeling that I used to be David. I also got the feeling that someone put a curse on me (from a Mountain Goats song). Oh, and I got the feeling that the feeling comes from the Mother Goddess (Asherah, I think?). Maybe God is pissed at me or something. I don't know what laws we're supposed to follow, although I do get the resonance feeling about some sometimes. I need to start writing down everything, I guess. I'm just tired of being trapped here. It's horrible. Absolutely horrible. Why are they doing this to me?
Facebook and Youtube keep suggesting that I buy this purple mattress because it will give me absolute power. I know they want me to be their king, but not like this. I want to help make the world a better place, but I need to be in a better environment, first. I want to help my roommate and my family (even if they're not really my family). The commandment is "Suffer not a witch to live", but I think maybe the interpretation is "Don't suffer a witch if you want to live." Although in the Greek scriptures it says witchcraft is the same as rebellion. I don't remember if I got the resonance feeling on any of that, though. I'm just so sick of lies. Anyway, apparently some people like shiny things (i.e. money, I guess). I'm not that kind of guy, really, but maybe if they had money they'd stop fucking with me or something? I don't know. I'm just talking out my ass right now. I really do want everyone to be happy without hurting others, though (or the planet, for that matter).
Oh, I also got the resonance feeling that I'm Jupiter. I am pretty gassy haha. It's weird though, that I had the vision of being a diamond star, and then the Mason/OES guy gave me the key with the diamond keychain and Adam played all the diamond songs and it felt like he was trying to hurt me to "pop" me (whatever that means) to grant his wishes. Is there a diamond inside of Jupiter or something? I have no idea.
Also, my "mom" bought me a Keith Urban guitar, Mary Meyers tried to get me to be trained by him to be on The Voice, and when I was in the psych ward, they kept playing this "Blue Ain't Your Color" song which seems like it's about me. But I don't know what they're talking about that I don't need that guy. Are they talking about Ahmed or something? I don't get the resonance feeling with the song at all.
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