Monday, June 27, 2011

asshole.

i'm writing this because i know it will come out wrong if i try to speak it, and i know that i have a good chance of overreacting and misinterpreting things because this place makes me even crazier than i already am.

it feels silly to even think these thoughts, especially given as how i've only known you for a fucking week. but i guess this situation is a little different than normal.

i'm just going to throw away the bullshit and just be completely honest.

when i first met you, for the first few days, i fell madly in love with you. it's true. i have never clicked with anyone like that before. of course i would've never told you that, if it weren't for me telling you this.

after a few days of not getting any attention from someone i had previously thought was the guy i had always been looking for, my enamor kind of turned into this weird bipolar combination of obsession and paranoia. one moment i'll be sitting here thinking about how much i want to explore your brain and ravish your body, and the next all i can think about is how you probably don't even care since you pull away every time i let my shoulder accidentally touch yours. so then i do things to try to push you away, like accusing you of fucking zero and being super clingy by mentioning the L word and showing you things like this... because it's way easier to deal with things that way.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FRUCK FUCKSFKJLFDSLJ